School jokes

Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days ?
Pupil: All of them!

- The food in our school canteen is perfect.
- If your a bug !

What was King Arthur's favourite game ?
Knights and crosses !

PUPIL: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
PUPIL: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

TEACHER: Did you do your homework?
PUPIL: No teacher.
TEACHER: Do you have an excuse?
PUPIL: Yes, it's all my mother's fault.
TEACHER: She kept you from doing it?
PUPIL: No, she didn't nag me enough!

Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ?
Pupil: I get up early !

Mother: How do you like your new teacher ?
Son: I don't. She told me to sit up front for the present and then she didn't give me one !

Teacher: If this class doesn't stop making so much noise I'll go crazy ?
Class: Too late, we haven't made a sound for an hour!

TEACHER: Why are you holding your textbook up to the window?
PUPIL: You told me to open it up to the Middle East.

PUPIL: Mum, can I have a new pair of plimsolls for gym, please?
MUM: Why can't Jim buy his own?

- Why were the members of the cricket team given lighters?
- Because they kept losing their matches.