Only 3 jokes about Bear but I hope you will enjoy ;)
Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the Pooh!
Q: What should you call a bald teddy?
A: Fred bear!
Q: What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
A: A polo bear!
Wednesday 7 April 2010
Monday 15 February 2010
Chicken jokes for kids
Q:What do you call the outside of a hand green-egg?
A: The bombshell!
Q:What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
A: "You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!"
Q:How long do chickens work?
A: Around the cluck!
Q:Is chicken soup good for your health?
A: Not if you're the chicken!
Q:Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide!
Q:What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!
Q:Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
A: Because he was a dirty double-crosser!
Q:What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
A: She was tickled to death!
A: The bombshell!
Q:What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
A: "You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!"
Q:How long do chickens work?
A: Around the cluck!
Q:Is chicken soup good for your health?
A: Not if you're the chicken!
Q:Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide!
Q:What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!
Q:Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
A: Because he was a dirty double-crosser!
Q:What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
A: She was tickled to death!
Thursday 7 January 2010
Bee jokes for kids
What kind of bees hum and drop things?
A fumble bee!
What do bees chew?
Bumble gum!
What is a baby bee?
A little humbug!
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not without their little yellow jackets!
What are the cleverest bees?
Spelling bees!
Why do bees buzz?
Because they can't whistle!
A fumble bee!
What do bees chew?
Bumble gum!
What is a baby bee?
A little humbug!
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not without their little yellow jackets!
What are the cleverest bees?
Spelling bees!
Why do bees buzz?
Because they can't whistle!
Friday 28 August 2009
School jokes
Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days ?
Pupil: All of them!
- The food in our school canteen is perfect.
- If your a bug !
What was King Arthur's favourite game ?
Knights and crosses !
PUPIL: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
PUPIL: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
TEACHER: Did you do your homework?
PUPIL: No teacher.
TEACHER: Do you have an excuse?
PUPIL: Yes, it's all my mother's fault.
TEACHER: She kept you from doing it?
PUPIL: No, she didn't nag me enough!
Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ?
Pupil: I get up early !
Mother: How do you like your new teacher ?
Son: I don't. She told me to sit up front for the present and then she didn't give me one !
Teacher: If this class doesn't stop making so much noise I'll go crazy ?
Class: Too late, we haven't made a sound for an hour!
TEACHER: Why are you holding your textbook up to the window?
PUPIL: You told me to open it up to the Middle East.
PUPIL: Mum, can I have a new pair of plimsolls for gym, please?
MUM: Why can't Jim buy his own?
- Why were the members of the cricket team given lighters?
- Because they kept losing their matches.
Pupil: All of them!
- The food in our school canteen is perfect.
- If your a bug !
What was King Arthur's favourite game ?
Knights and crosses !
PUPIL: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
PUPIL: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
TEACHER: Did you do your homework?
PUPIL: No teacher.
TEACHER: Do you have an excuse?
PUPIL: Yes, it's all my mother's fault.
TEACHER: She kept you from doing it?
PUPIL: No, she didn't nag me enough!
Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ?
Pupil: I get up early !
Mother: How do you like your new teacher ?
Son: I don't. She told me to sit up front for the present and then she didn't give me one !
Teacher: If this class doesn't stop making so much noise I'll go crazy ?
Class: Too late, we haven't made a sound for an hour!
TEACHER: Why are you holding your textbook up to the window?
PUPIL: You told me to open it up to the Middle East.
PUPIL: Mum, can I have a new pair of plimsolls for gym, please?
MUM: Why can't Jim buy his own?
- Why were the members of the cricket team given lighters?
- Because they kept losing their matches.
Saturday 11 July 2009
Jokes about birthdays
"When's your birthday?"
"July 23."
"What year?"
"Every year!"
What is your favourite type of present?
Another present!
What did one candle say to the other?
"Don't birthdays burn you up?"
Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
In a cat-alogue!
"July 23."
"What year?"
"Every year!"
What is your favourite type of present?
Another present!
What did one candle say to the other?
"Don't birthdays burn you up?"
Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
In a cat-alogue!
Monday 6 July 2009
Jokes about vampires
Why does Dracula have no friends ?
Because he's a pain in the neck !
What's a vampire's favourite sport ?
Batminton !
How does a vampire like his food served ?
In bite sized pieces !
What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day ?
A coffin break !
What happened to the mad vampire ?
He went a little batty !
Wednesday 1 July 2009
Knock knock jokes
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Alva !
Alva who ?
Alva heart !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Amazon !
Amazon who ?
Amazon of a bishop. What's your father do ?
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
U-2 !U-2 who ?
U-2 can buy a brand-new car for only $199 a month !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Lass !Lass who ?
That's what cowboys use, isn't it ?
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Leif !
Leif who ?
Leif me alone with all these questions !
Who's there !
Alva !
Alva who ?
Alva heart !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Amazon !
Amazon who ?
Amazon of a bishop. What's your father do ?
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
U-2 !U-2 who ?
U-2 can buy a brand-new car for only $199 a month !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Lass !Lass who ?
That's what cowboys use, isn't it ?
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Leif !
Leif who ?
Leif me alone with all these questions !
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